dear diary :: waiting



Dear Diary,

Recently I have started selecting one little word at the beginning of every year to help define and shape my upcoming year. Last year I chose delight. This year I chose the word wait.

Waiting. It's an odd selection for a motivational word. And it wasn't my first choice either. I tried to choose something different... really, I did. At first I wanted to go with the word hope... then I thought I'd use the word trust... And while those are both great options and I'm sure will hold meaning for me this year... I still kept coming back to the word wait.

Waiting... what does it even mean?

To stay in place in expectation of... To delay... To remain stationary in readiness or expectation... To look forward expectantly... To hold back expectantly... To be ready and available...

I've begun to realize how "waiting" normally has a negative connotation for me. Waiting means something is being withheld... my need for instant gratification isn't being fulfilled... or I am waiting for something that everyone else already has.

Sure, a big part of this word for me is waiting for a child... but it's much, much more than that... I often find myself waiting for acceptance... waiting for approval... waiting for comfort... waiting for answers... and yes, waiting for a child. But I've been asking myself some hard questions recently... Am I okay with waiting? What if I never receive the things I am waiting for? Do I feel that I need those things to be happy? Am I okay waiting for God? Or am I even waiting for God at all? Do I trust that His timing is better than my own?

But that's when it hit me. I'm not merely waiting for God... I'm waiting WITH God. Thankfully, He doesn't leave me high and dry to wait alone... He waits with me... gently reminding me that His plan is better. And I trust that. Some days it's hard to remember... but that's why I chose this word wait... not to remind me what I am waiting for, but rather Who I am waiting with.

Love,

Julia

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I really loved this article on waiting on the Lord.

"Wait for the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord."
-Psalm 27:14

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