The other day, I spent some time finally updating my adoption page here on the blog... creating links to some of our older adoption-related posts that I thought might be helpful to someone else going through the adoption process.
As I was scrolling further and further back in time... further and further back into the blogosphere... I was amazed at God's faithfulness and His perfect timing in our journey. I realize this seems to always be the case, especially when we are "on the other side" of said-journey, but having all of these moments (both the really hard and the really good) written down, stamped in time, made it so apparent that He has been with us every step of the way.
I found myself clear back in the archives of 2012.. March 2012... February 2012... January 2012...
January 14, 2012. Zara's birthday.
I became insanely curious as to what life looked like for us, our little family of two... me and Lance... in that very moment. As our sweet baby girl was being born clear on the other side of the world, and a beautiful young woman was giving birth amidst her own health issues and suffering... what were we doing?
And wouldn't you know, just 3 short days before Zara was born, I wrote this post. A post about waiting and infertility. A post about longing and patience. A post about trust and lack-thereof.
This was a vulnerable post for me. It was the first time I even hinted towards the "waiting" process and our longing to have a child. It was somewhere around this time that Lance and I started genuinely considering adoption. We were knee-deep in doctor appointments and fertility testing... desperately longing for God to fulfill our desires to love a child.
And completely unbeknownst to us, He already was.
His plan was already in full-swing. While we anxiously discussed treatment options and registered for adoption seminars, a beautiful baby girl was making her grand entrance into the world.
I love this.
It was yet one more reminder that we don't wait alone. From the moment I first drafted that post about waiting, to the moment (a year and a half later) when I first held Zara in my arms... He waited with me. In all those times of doubt and insecurity... He was carefully crafting His oh-so-perfect plan... preparing that very moment when he would unite our family and His plan would unfold.
And even still... today... in my weakest moments of motherhood... in my deepest insecurities... in my weary sleepless nights... He waits with me. And He will, time and time again.
Initially I didn't know what to name this post... then last night a dear friend sent me a link to this beautifully written post. "We lay our hope, full and tender, into the depths of Him and wait in hope for God to resurrect something good." -Ann Voscamp Yes. Hope and wait. We hope and wait.